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In light of the rising frequency of human/grizzly bear confrontations, the Alaska Department of Fish and Game is advising hikers, hunters, and fishermen to take extra precautions and be alert for bears while in the field. “We advise that outdoorsmen wear small bells on their clothing so as not to startle bears that aren’t expecting them, and to carry pepper spray with them in case of an encounter.”
It is also a good idea to watch out for fresh signs of bear activity. Outdoorsmen should recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear droppings. Black bear droppings are smaller and contain lots of berries and fur. Grizzly bear droppings have little bells in it and smell like pepper |
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(best spoken very fast) A Bear walks into a bar in Burnaby, B.C. The Bear walks up to the bar and says, "Bartender, Bring me a Beer!". The Bartender looks at the Bear and says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve beers to bears in bars in Burnaby, B.C." The Bear says, "Well, I want a beer bud. You best bring it!" "I'm sorry we don't serve beers to bears in bars in Burnaby, B.C." The Bear says, "Bartender, see that broad at the end of the bar?" "You mean the beautiful babe with the big boobs in the blue blouse?" "Yeah, now bring me a beer or that broad'll be my brunch!" "I'm sorry, we don't serve beers to bears in bars in Burnaby, B.C." So the Bear walks down the bar, creeps up behind the woman, and [*CHOMP*] eats her whole. "Now," says the Bear, "bring me my beer!" "I'm sorry we don't serve beers to bears in bars in Burnaby, B.C., and besides, you don't need one." "What do you mean?" "That was a Barbituate." |
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Bear Trouble
An eskimo has his snowmobile break down while bear hunting near a small town in Alaska. He takes it to the repair shop and is told to come back in about an hour. When he comes back, the mechanic says: "It looks like you have blown a seal." The eskimo answers: "Err... No, that's just a little frost on my mustache." Sam and Dave are camping in the wilderness. Sam turns and notices a bear about a mile behind them. They decide to pick up the pace a bit. However, it soon becomes apparent that the bear is following them,in fact the bear has broken into a run. Sam quickly removes his backpack and rummages through it. Astonished, Dave asks what he's doing.Sam replies that he is going to remove his hiking boots and put on running shoes."Are you crazy?, you'll never out run a bear by wearing running shoes" says Dave. Sam replies," I don't have to outrun the bear, I just have to outrun you." |
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